Today Zac and I took the boys out to Longbow Golf Club in Mesa for the 8th annual Fore Noah and Friends Golf Tournament where all proceeds go to Neuroblastoma research.  Noah was diagnosed with Neuroblastoma in 2005 and has been cancer free for 7 years now!!  His family holds this tournament each year and they have raised about $60,000 each year at this event.  We has such a great time out there today and we can’t wait to hear how much they ended up raising this year!  I got to chat with Lara (Noah’s mom) for a bit and I also got to see a family that I used to nanny for 10 years ago!  I can’t believe how the time flies.  The boys had a great time and I thought you would enjoy a few pics of the day….I promise Braden was happy on the slides!!

With the end of April being here, the countdown to Jack’s 5th birthday and scan week will begin.  Jack turns 5 on May 11th and we are so happy for that.  We are so thankful that we can celebrate another birthday with Jack…even more thankful that it is a birthday where he is cancer free!  Jack’s scans start on the 15th and we will hopefully know results by the 17th and then have an appointment with Dr Eshun on the 18th.  Please send all of your positive thoughts, energy, and prayers Jack’s way.  When these results come back clear, Jack’s scans will be able to be spread out to 6 months apart instead of every 3 months.  Of course that is terrifying that it will be so long in between scans, but it is just one small step further away from the day that the Devil knocked on our door and that is something that we cannot be happier about.

After my post the other day I went to take out the trash and found myself looking up at the sky and there was only one star out.  I sat there and looked at it and found myself saying to myself, “Star light, star bright, first star I see tonight.  I wish I may, I wish I might, have this wish I wish tonight….please let Jack’s fever go away.  Please make my little boy better so he doesn’t have to go to the doctor tomorrow and go through a bunch of tests.  Please let this fever be nothing more than a virus and not a sign of anything more.  I am not sure I could handle it if it were….”

I went inside and Jack was feeling good because Zac had just came home from work and the kids were running around with total excitement.  Maybe that was the medicine that Jack needed because since that moment, he has had no fever.  He looks better and he is full of energy.  He slept in his own room that night (which he hadn’t done since last week) and he woke up cool as a cucumber yesterday.  I cannot tell you how happy I was to have him run in to our room and jump in bed with a total cool head.  Braden’s nose is much better and they are ready to get out and do something.  We have been in this house since last Friday and we are all going a bit crazy!

Today is my sister Stacey’s birthday so we have plans to all get together this weekend to celebrate!  Happy birthday Stacey and thank you so much for all you do for me!

Hope you all have a good weekend…we will!

“Get out of here fever!” Those are the words that Jack has been saying when I take his temp…probably for two different reasons, he is sick and tired of me taking his temp and he really is sick and tired of being stuck in this house with a fever.  His fever went back up last night (nothing too high) and then was pretty much gone all day until about a hour ago.  It is starting to creep up again and I am on the verge of a bit of a breakdown.  A bit dramatic, probably, but I cannot tell you the fear that fevers cause me.  A bit silly considering Jack, his doctors, and the rest of our friends and family keep telling me all is going to be just fine.  Do I think he is having some sort of a reaction to cancer coming back, no…I don’t think that, but is the fear there, you betcha.  Do I think he has more than a cold, yes I do.  Maybe a bacterial infection…no clue.  I just know that that his little eyes are telling me that he doesn’t feel good even though he still wants to play.  He still has a cough and congestion and a fever as of now.  We will be going back to the pediatrician the morning.

Good news…Braden is feeling better!  His little nose is not as runny at all and his coughing has totally calmed down.  Very happy about that!  He is getting a little stir crazy since we haven’t left the house since Friday night but he is doing well.  Right now they are playing on the iPad and Braden keeps saying, “Jack, will you help me?” and Jack replies, “What do you need buddy?”  They are good boys…great brothers.

On a selfish note, I really do not like how paranoid Jack’s battle with cancer has made me.  I have always been a protective mom and always will be, but now I fear it all when it comes to the kids getting sick.  People will tell me, “It’s normal!” “That’s what happens when you have healthy kids…they get fevers!”  I know that is all true and I understand where people are coming from but our life will never be “normal” when it comes to the kids and getting sick.  It really won’t.  Poor Dr Eshun will probably be hearing from me when Jack is in high school asking for his opinion on Jack having a fever.  I am having a moment today…a moment when I am beyond happy for where we are but beyond angry that it ever happened.  Jack being diagnosed has lead us to great things that I am not sure we would be doing if we never were introduced to the cancer world.  We are meeting wonderful people, doing our best to raise awareness and funds for Neuroblastoma research, being supportive of PCH, trying to give a little happiness to the kids at the hospital who are hurting…we are happy for all of that and feel good about the world that we are in now but I really wish we got here by a different path.

I think we are on the up and up with the kids being sick but I am one to see it to believe it…I know, a bit harsh, but totally true!  Jack had a much better day today.  He only needed Tylenol once today and that is a major improvement from the past few days.  He is still bogged down with a cough and congestion, but he is in good spirits and eating well so that is also a good sign.  I got an email from Dr Eshun today telling me that he is not concerned over the fever lasting for 5 days because he thinks it is just a virus and they are known for that.  I can tell you that when Dr Eshun tells us something, we believe it and move forward.

Braden is doing well…still the same with the cough and congestion too but he is still as crazy as ever and nothing will slow that boy down!  He is also still in good spirits which doesn’t surprise me because he is always happy!  Of course he has his 2 year old moments, but he wakes up happy and goes to bed happy and that in turn makes me a proud Mommy.

Just wanted to give you this little update as I have been getting emails and texts asking how they boys are.  I will let you know how tomorrow goes…we are counting on them being better by this weekend so we can get some family activities done this weekend.

Thanks for thinking of us and for keeping our boys in your thoughts!

My parents came in town this weekend as we were all attending a wedding this past Friday night of a very long time friend of Nikki’s.  We have all known Michelle since she was 5 so the entire family was in town to celebrate her big day.  Our sitter became sick last week and had to cancel on us for Friday night so our two life savers, Megan and Brittney, came to the rescue and watched Jack and Braden for the night.  Since they both work and the wedding was on a Friday, our “old” sitter, who is 7 months pregnant, also came to our rescue and watched the kids for the first hour and a half so we could arrive on time for the wedding.  I should have known this was all a sign of what was to come of our weekend!  When we came home at 10:00 PM, the kids were sleeping but Meg and Britt filled us in that the kids did feel a little warm but were both in good spirits so hopefully nothing to worry about.  Come 4 AM, Jack woke up with a 103.5 fever and my stomach flipped.  He was crying, my mom came up when she heard, we gave Jack Tylenol and he gave it right back to us…to my mom, his sheets, and his Norbert and Tiger.  Zac came in and helped us get everything cleaned up and we had to give Jack some more med since it didn’t make it down.

The weekend was pretty much filled with runny noses, coughs, and fevers from Jack.  Braden never really has had a fever but just common cold symptoms.  Jack has the same but can’t get rid of this fever.  He has been up and down since Saturday morning so we made a trip in to see the pediatrician today.  He thinks that it is the same cold that Braden has but Jack’s immune system just acts different than Bradens.  He did say that “at least you know his immune system is working because his body is working to fight off what he has” but that still doesn’t make me feel better about fevers.  I happen to really dislike them.  We came home and all was well until Jack and I were sitting on the couch playing a game and I noticed his breathing was a bit faster than normal.  His body was cool but his head was hot.  I took his temp in his ear and sure enough, he had spiked another high fever again.  More Mortrin for Jack and then the waiting period until it comes down.  After about a hour and a half it hadn’t budged so then he is allowed to take Tylenol to really try and kick it.  Finally, after another 45 minutes it started to go down and he is sitting at normal right now.  Him and Braden are running around…nevermind, bad idea.  They were running around and Jack started coughing and threw up.  Now Braden just pretended to throw up by spitting out his food.  Oh boy.

Jack is find but fevers scare me.  Hopefully it will break tonight and this will be all over with.  They are both back to playing and acting as if nothing just happened 10 minutes ago.  I will keep you updated as how tonight goes but let’s all hope that he doesn’t spike again and it just goes away!

Times like this makes me wish that this next week was scan week so that little voice in the back of my head that questions what exactly a fever means would go away.  Jack has scans in 1 month and while we are confident that he will do well and that his body will remain cancer free, it is still a time full of anxiety.