Hi all!!  I am hoping you will join Arizona Cardinals 6 time Pro Bowl wide receiver Larry Fitzgerald and “Gimme 5” – a $5 donation to support the patients and families at Phoenix Children’s Hospital, the 2nd largest Children’s Hospital in the country. We do!!! All you have to to is text HAND to 50555 and you will donate $5!  So simple!

There are times when I am discouraged, shut down, questionioned and in those times I try my best to sit back and pay attention to what is going on around me to find the real ansnwers.  I LISTEN to the truth and the reality of life and try to refoucus myself on what I need to be doing…and this is what I came up with:

Last week I woke up and felt like it was a cancer day.  “Cancer Day”…what is that you ask??  A day when you feel like waking up and kicking cancer in the face.  It was one of those days.  I put on my necklace that my dad had made for me that represents Jack and his battle and was out for the day.  Now this doesn’t mean I planned on going out and talking to every person I ran in to about cancer, Jack, and Neuroblastoma…but my mind was swirling with ideas about what we, as a Foundation, can do to make a difference.  While I was out I was thinking about this family that I didn’t even really know and their son, Blake.  Blake has recently been diagnosed with Melanoma of the brain at the age of 18.  I heard about him through the committee that I am on for “Children’s Fight for Life” and decided to reach out to his family because we know a very strong man named John who has taken on Melanoma four times and won.  John’s wife, July, had shared John’s full story with me so I could pass it along to Blakes’ family in hopes of giving them some encouragement.  I came home from running errands this day and my phone rang from an unknown number…usually I do not pick up when I get these calls, but I decided to.  On the other end was Blake’s dad, Peter.  Now here’s the kicker…Peter and I met last year at the “Children’s Fight for Life” event where he spoke with me about his mom and her very long battle with cancer and her strong will to stay positive and never give up.  That night we promised to continue our conversation at another time, but with lost numbers and months passing, it didn’t happen.  Now here I am, speaking to the father of Blake, and it is the same man who I met last year.  Small world.  He never thought in a million years that we would be connecting again because his son was diagnosed with cancer but the harsh reality still stands…it can happen to anyone.  Please log in and follow Blake and his journey.  He is a very strong man but can always use extra words of encouragement and prayers…http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/blakewolfson

Today Nikki and I had planned on cashing in the spa day that Zac bought me for my birthday.  I hadn’t had a massage in years and it was about time that we had a bit of relaxation in our lives.  Everything was going great and I was escorted back in to the room that I was supposed to be getting my massage in and started chatting with the massage therapist.  She was explaining to me how they have a tradition there…they had a small woven basket that hung by the door with tassels hanging from them.  She explained that if you had any burdens or stress, to take a tassel and put it in the basket.  She will then put it outside to the door…before she even finished what she was saying, I was standing there with tears welling up in my eyes.  What in the world is wrong with me?!?  I am standing here in what is supposed to be very relaxing moment and starting to cry…perfect.  I explained to the very nice woman that I am so sorry but my son had been through hell and back with cancer treatment and now he is considered cancer free but I cannot help but feel the stress of it still remain.  I told her how he still has to has scans and it is beyond scary to live out every day with the small wonder in the back of your head…Is it ever coming back?  She asked what kind of cancer and I told her Neuroblastoma.  She then took a step back and told me that her close friends granddaughter had NB and was being treated at PCH.  It was one of those moments when you just sit there unsure of what to say next.  Regardless, I had a great message and for that 50 minutes, I left my worries on the other side of the door knowing that there was someone else there who knew what I was feeling.

Nikki and I chatted a lot today and we talked about the Children’s Miracle Network and Lydia…she works for CMN and we met her when Jack and I did the Wal Mart event with Adrian Wilson.  I haven’t talked with her since the event but I thought I would contact her soon…I got home from the day out with Nikki and about 30 minutes later, the phone rings from a PCH number.  I pick up to a voice on the other end, “Hi!  This is Lydia and I am with the Children’s Miracle Network, your number was picked from the Gimme $5 for PCH that you texted in for…..”  I asked Lydia if she knew who she as talking to and she said she didn’t because they don’t give her names so I told her who I was…she was shocked!  She was calling me to tell me I was going to be sent a $25 gift card to Walgreens as one of the Gimme $5 drawings that they do.  Who would have figured that they would draw my number.  Anyway, we chatted and talked about a lot of things…for instance, how in the world has America raised over $650,000 for a vacation for Karen Klein (the busdriver who was so wrongly bullied) in just a short 24 hour period and we have to literally beg people to donate for cancer research.  This just doesn’t make sense to me.  This innocent woman should have never been treated so badly by the kids on the bus…ever.  I get that.  How in the world could so much money be put up in such a short time period while I could sit her and go on every single day time show and might not get that response at all.  Sorry, doesn’t make sense.  Anyway, we threw some ideas around and who knows…maybe a video will go viral soon and we can make a major difference for the cancer community!

We told Lydia that we wanted to give back the $25 gift card and just put it back in to the fund for the Children’s Miracle Network.  It’s the least we can do…If you want to help the Children’s Miracle Network, please text HAND to 50555 and $5 will be donated to Phoenix Children’s Hospital!!

I am sure you are wondering when I am going to get to my point, so here we go…I have said before and I will continue to say it, I do not believe everything happens for a reason.  I just don’t.  I do believe that people come in your life for a reason just as some leave your life for a reason.  I know that Peter, the wonderful massage therapist, and Lydia are people who have come in to my life for a reason even if it is just a short meeting.  There are times when we need to meet these people or hear from them just to know that we are doing what we are meant to do.  Does that make sense at all, or I am totally just rambling??!!

So while I will have those days, those small moments, when someone will try and question me, I can think back on these few instances that bring me back to where I belong.  I know who I am and I know what I stand for.  Not only that, I feel great comfort in knowing my family, friends, and supporters of this Foundation will always lift me up when I feel defeated.  The cancer world is a tough world to live in.  I am not speaking of the times when we are watching our babies go through hell, but I am talking about he part when we want to stand up and do something about it.  It’s hard.  It’s complicated.  You will be pushed around, knocked down, questioned, and told no. It doesn’t happen often, but it does happen.  The only think you can do is continue to push through. Push through the negativity. Push through the nasty comments…there are only a few, but they still sting.  I now realize that you cannot educate the ignorant so instead I will try my best to put them in their place as I pass them by.

Listen, this is not a world I ever wanted to be a part of simply because I had no idea that it really even existed.  I never know how many children were diagnosed with cancer each year and I had no idea how little funding they received.  I never wanted to be a parent that was fighting tooth and nail to get their child through to the next day and now fighting for awareness and research funding.  I never wanted to pass up my youngest child growing up because my older son needed me more.  I never wanted to have friends come and go, some are in for the long haul and some aren’t.  I never wanted to meet the wonderful people I have because of the one thing we have in common…our children were diagnosed with cancer.  I never wanted to have people walk out of my life because it was too complicated or because there were too many rules for them.  All in all, Jack didn’t chose to be put through hell.  He didn’t want to answer the door when the Devil knocked but we didn’t have a choice.  So we fought back and we are here.  Jack is doing amazingly well, Braden is a very normal and loving 2 year old, Zac is an amazing father and still my rock, and I am here.  Fighting and won’t stop because I can’t, and frankly I don’t want to.

I am now going to lay down with my kids and get off my soap box!

We woke up this morning to seeing The Fitzgerald Cancer Fund in the crowd at the Today Show with huge pictures of Neuroblastoma cancer warriors and angels.  Al Roker went over to the crowd of people showing support for NB and they were allowed to speak for a couple of minutes about the loss of their daughter to Neuroblastoma and how they want to raise awareness and funds for safer treatments and ultimately find a cure.  It is is great when we see people spreading the word about Neuroblastoma…without awareness, you can’t find a cure.  The huge pictures of the kids that they were showing are many of the children that we follow or know.  It was great to see their little faces on the tv first thing this morning.  Congratulations to the Fitzgerald Cancer Fund for putting yourself out there and getting the awareness you were after!  As you all know, we love The Today Show and that is a great place to get your story out!  It really is amazing how the knowledge of NB has been growing.  Two yeas ago, no one ever talked about this disease.  I had never heard of it and I am sure most of you hadn’t either.  To know that more and more people are standing up and making a stand, is simply amazing to see.

I know we haven’t done an update since last week, but just so you all know…all is well.  Dr Eshun called us last week and said that Jack’s echo and EKG looked great.  He said, “In fact, it looks better than it did last year when he was on treatment.”  I was a little surprised about that because I wasn’t aware that there was ever a time that his heart looked as if it wasn’t any less than perfect, but to know that is body is improving daily is all that I really want to know.  We don’t have the results from the pulmonary function test, but as I have said before, I am really not worried about it.  I think he is doing well and I am sure that is what the tests will show.

We had a great 4 day weekend with Zac being home.  We had dinner with friends, played a lot, actually had a date night by ourselves (which rarely happens!), and celebrated Father’s Day before he headed out again.  I will post some pictures later for you to see….including the shirt we made for Zac which happens to be pretty cute and funny!

I am off to make breakfast now for the kids and then doing a quick ride outside before it becomes unbearably hot out!!

It has been forever since we have posted anything but I think we needed a break for a bit.  Not from posting, just from everything….make sense??  Our air went out in the house and if you live in Arizona, you know how awful that is!  It was 110 out and we decided to ditch AZ for CA for a week and a half and it was well worth it!  We stayed with my parents for most of the trip and it was great!  We went to Sea World with the the kids and they really enjoyed it.  The beach is by far their favorite place to be and I wish we could have gone there more but weather was not the best for the ocean.  We had a good time just getting away from everything.

We came back Sunday night to a cool house because of a new air unit and it is much better in here!  Jack had two doctors appointments today…he had to get an Echo and a EKG as well as do a pulmonary function test.  He did good with both and I am sure we will hear from Dr Eshun in the next couple of days with results.  I don’t anticipate them being any less than great so let’s just go with that!

Tomorrow Jack has to meet with a urologist.  During his last set of scans they saw that one of his testicles has moved back up and not descended.  After seeing Eshun and his pediatrician, they both wanted him to go see a urologist to see if he needs a procedure to bring it back down.  Most of the time they will just wait it out to see if it falls on it’s own, but with Jack’s past we will probably opt for the procedure.  The treatment that Jack has gone through may affect his chance to have kids when his is older as well as increase his odds for secondary cancer so we want to always do everything to prevent all we can.  When a testicle is not in the proper place, the temperature is not accurate and can be damaging for his future for both kids and testicular cancer.  Of course these are worst case scenarios, but like I said, because of Jack’s past we will do everything to prevent any more damage to his body….sooooo off to the urologist we go.  Probably more info than you needed, but it is what it is!

Today marks the beginning of International Neuroblastoma Awareness week…do us a favor, take the time to share Jack’s story with someone you know who you haven’t shared it with.  Send them his website…let them know how awful this beast is and how we need to do everything we can to help spread awareness and raise money for research.  Let someone know how many children are affected by this disease every year and how we need to do something to change this.  Here are a few facts:

Neuroblastoma is a cancer that develops from nerve cells found in several areas of the body. Neuroblastoma most commonly arises in and around the adrenal glands, which have similar origins to nerve cells and sit atop the kidneys. However, neuroblastoma can also develop in other areas of the abdomen and in the chest, neck and pelvis, where groups of nerve cells exist.

• Neuroblastoma is a common and often difficult to treat cancer, the most common cancer in infancy.
• In the United States, about 600 children are diagnosed with neuroblastoma each year.
• It is the most common tumor found in children younger than 1 year of age.
• Neuroblastoma is the most common extra cranial solid tumor cancer in children.
• Every 16 hours a child with neuroblastoma dies.
• There is no known cure for relapsed neuroblastoma.
• Nearly 70% of those children first diagnosed with neuroblastoma have disease that has already metastasized or spread to other parts of the body. When disease has spread at diagnosis and a child is over the age of 2, there is less than a 30% chance of survival.

We will share more facts as the week continues because we want to do all we can to help fight this disease.  As always, thank you so much for all of your support.  One day we will find the words to tell you how much we appreciate it…