Today has been a very emotional day. A day full of so many different emotions that it is really hard to put in to words. Nikki and I went to Ben’s funeral this morning and heartbreaking doesn’t even begin to describe it. I saw Ben’s mom, Barb, when we got there and was able to give her a hug and tell her I am sorry. I wish I had more to say, but I am not sure any words could make her heart feel any better. The funeral was at their church and it was a very nice ceremony. My heart hurt for them, my mind was angry for them because cancer took their innocent son away from them, my faith was stronger today because of them, my want to fight for our children is even more of a priority because of them…this is only a few of the emotions felt. I cried most of the time as did most everyone there. It is not easy to go to a funeral, it is not right to go to a funeral for a 5 year told boy who was so smart, cute, funny, strong, loving, and totally innocent. I will continue to pray for this family. I hope his parents know that Ben got his strength from them. Barb’s strength helped us so much when Jack was diagnosed and her faith always kept her holding her head high. You could see the hurt in her eyes today and it just isn’t fair.
After we got home from the funeral I had to run up to the store to get a few things and as I pulled up there was a blue Nascar race car out from of the grocery store. Not sure why, but it was there. Funny thing is, Ben was a hug Nascar fan. He loved his cars and there it was, a big blue Nascar car sitting right there. I smiled to myself as I walked by it thinking that he probably would have wanted to stop and sit in it for hours if he was there. As I left there store and turned on my car, the song “Tears in Heaven” by Eric Clapton was on. I haven’t heard that song in years. Coincidence? Not sure..