Everything was going great today…Jack woke up without having a fever and slept very well last night. He ate well today, had energy, and never spiked a fever…until late tonight. He threw up after dinner and up popped a fever of 101.5. He is now sleeping next to me and his fever has gone down to 100.5 without medication…and this is a good thing. The spike in the fever could be due to a million things…he got sick to his stomach, he was eating, it’s night time, he still has a head cold and cough…there is a million different reasons why this is happening but I am going to need to figure out why so we are heading to PCH tomorrow. We will be getting a CBC as well as a blood panel done. I may, and truly hope with all that is in me, that I am overreacting and that he just has a virus but I can’t go in to another day with the wonder of what in the hell is going on in his little body. Something is off…it cold be the cold, but something isn’t ok. I want nothing more than to be the crazy mom who worries far too much and have everything be ok with Jack.
I told a friend today that I saw this quote and it’s so very true:
“There are moments which mark your life. Moments when you realize nothing will ever be the same and time is divided into two parts, before this, and after this.”
This is very true. The moment Jack was diagnosed, my entire world was changed forever. The way I act, think, react, feel, love, rationalize, the way I appreciate the little things (and the big things), the mission I have in life, the drive I have…everything has changed. It took a moment. A single moment to redirect my entire life….not only mine, but my families and many of my friends. Things change and one of the small things that changed is the way I look at illness with my kids. It freaks me out. Freaks the living crap out of me. It may not be what is “normal” but it is what is our life now and what it probably will be until my kids are grown men and have kids of their own. I feel sorry for their future wives…I am on record now saying that I am sorry but I will be “that” mother-in-law. My kids are my life…they are Zac’s life…we couldn’t live without them.
So, please….send your prayers, positive thoughts, energy, fairies, spells…whatever you wish…send all the good thoughts towards Jack. Hopefully this is just a funky virus that he is having hard time shaking. Whatever it is, we will figure it out and we will get rid of it. It’s what he does…it’s Jack.