It’s been awhile since I have had a post and I have been jotting down things to write about but it all went to hell when Jack gave me a reality check tonight at bed time.  We just got done reading “Warrior Baby” by Shannon Laffoon and he told me he loved the book and put it in a special spot on his bookcase.  He said, “I know just where to put this one….” and off he went.  I asked him if he liked the book and he said he really did and wanted to know more about Wylder and his dog Maddie.  We talked for a bit and then turned off the lights.  He lined up his “guys”…Norbert, Tiger, Bunny, Mario, and Luigi in the correct order and then put his head on his pillow with a smile.  I asked if we should do our prayers now and of course he said yes.  We thanked God for our family and friends.  We thanked God for our health, the food on our table, and the roof over our head.  We asked God to protect our family as he has been…not just us, but our aunts and uncles, cousins, grandparents…everyone.  We asked God to help the kids at the hospital that were hurting…to somehow take away their pain and give them hope.  After we were done with our normal prayers, I asked Jack if there was anything he wanted to say and he said…

“Am I allowed to thank God for my toys?”

I told him of course he was…

He said, “Thank you for my toys, my mom, my dad, my brother, my family, my friends…”

I asked him if he wanted to thank God for anything else like “No more…”

And Jack said, “Cancer?”

I said, “Yes, do you want to thank God for no more cancer and to ask him to keep it away forever?”

Jack said, “I already do.”

Me, “Oh…you do?  When?  Every night”

Jack, “pretty much…I always ask for that.”

Oh.  Ok.  Really?  My 5 year old asks God for no more cancer every night on his own, by himself, before bed…Wow.

I am not sure if I should be screaming with pride that my 5 year old would do such a thing or sick to my stomach that he is even thinking of such a thing.  This is what I am going to go with…

I am proud of him.  I am so very proud of him.  When I was asked what gave me the strength to get through the months of treatment that he went though, I said Jack is what got me through. He gave me strength.  He gave me power.  He should be the one getting strength from me and Zac, but he is the one who was doing it.  He knew from the beginning that hew as going to fight and he did.  He knew when he was 2 1/2 that he was going to be ok, because he told me.  He took my face in his tiny little hands and told me, “I am ok.” I believed him and that is what powered me through.  I think he has a connection with others that we don’t have.  Maybe it’s my Grandpa…maybe isn’t his Nanna Lou…I am not sure what it is, but he is wise.  I am a planner, but he plans it out before me and doesn’t even tell me.  He continues to go on with his little life like nothing has happened to him because he knows that every second counts.  Sounds a bit much for a 5 year old…maybe so, but it’s honestly the truth.  He got up every single day through treatment and kept on pushing.  Continued fighting.  Continued loving his life while he was going through hell.  He is my inspiration.  He is my strength.  He is my reason to fight and my reason to never give up.  He prays for no more cancer at night while he is falling asleep.  He is my hero.

Jack is almost done with his first week of Kindergarten and he is absolutely loving it.  He comes home in a great mood, shows me some things he has learned, sings songs, does sign language and chats about the kids in his class.  He is still not thrilled that they haven’t played many games yet, but I am trying to make him undertand that the beginning is to learn the rules and get into a routine and I promise there will be a time for games.  I recieved a note from the teacher yesterday letting me know that Jack is doing really well and isn’t shy at all (which was my main concern since he is shy when he dosen’t know anyone) and that he is doing wonderful and participates in everything.  This made me feel so good and, of course, so proud.  He brought home some worksheets they did today and he asked, “Are you proud of my work?” I told him, “Of course I am!  I am so proud of you!” With that he said that he was happy to hear that.  I asked if he was proud of himself and he said, “Yeah, I am.  I am really proud.” I told him that is even more important because if you are proud of yourself then you are doing something right.  He is such and old soul.

Speaking of old souls…my Grandpa passed away 10 years ago and if you knew my Grandpa, you LOVED him.  He was so happy, so positive, so completly everything.  Even in the last few days of his time here, we would ask him how he was doing and his reply was, “I never had it so good.”  There are many times, even before Jack was sick, that I would wonder if he was watching.  If he knows all that has gone on.  If he is proud.  If he watches over our family.  The other night I had a dream and it was all too real.  It was one of those dreams that you think about for weeks and truly believe it was true.  My mom says that sometimes God talks to you through your dreams and that is exactly what I am hoping.  To make it a short story I had a dream that my Grandma was coming to visit us with her old friend from Texas.  When Nikki and I opened the door to see her, she was laughing and telling a story and standing right next to her, smiling and laughing, was my Grandpa.  It took my breath away.  I told my sister that he was there and she said, “ummm, no…he’s not.”  I was so confused in this dream.  As the rest of the family came over I asked if anyone saw him and they all said no.  I asked him if he could see me and talk to me and he said yes.  I asked if he was always happy and always by my Grandma watching her and he told me, “I am ALWAYS with your Grandma.  Always.”  I asked if he knew about Jack and knew of all we had been through and he said, ” I know about it all.  I have been here the whole time.”  At that point Jack sat on his lap and my Grandpa made him laugh as if he was still here.  I woke up so many times with tears running down my face and kept falling back asleep with my dream picking up where it left off.  I woke up wondering if this really happened, but obviously I knew it was a dream.  I really hope this was God’s way of letting my Grandpa talk to me…

This week the kids and I have been listing to music a lot when they are home and keeping the TV off…especially during dinner.  The past few nights they will hear a song that they “LOVE” and Braden asks if we can dance…so that is what we do.  We get up, dance our butts off, and then get back to dinner.  They are a sweaty mess and full of way too much energy to stay seated during the rest of dinner, but they had fun.  They had me letting go and just truly having fun with them.  Have you done that lately?  Just let it all go and had fun for a minute?  Try it…I promise you won’t regret it.

Since Jack is at school and Braden is totally zoned in to a new learning app we have on the iPad, I thought I would take a minute to do an update!  My mom and I took Jack and Braden to the dentist on Friday and I had a feeling it was going to be a bit interesting for Braden boy since he is very strong and when he doesn’t want to do something, well, he doesn’t do it!  When they first got there they were both sitting in the chair together and I thought it was all going to go well but when Braden had to get out and do his own exam, he wasn’t thrilled.  The dentist asked if we thought Braden was going to “sing” and if we should go in to a private room and I told them I am sure he would “sing” very loudly so in the room we went.  It took all of 2 minutes of Dr Chaet looking at this teeth and putting on his first fluoride wash but Braden was not happy.  I have said it a million times, this child is unusually strong and he was pulling out all the UFC moves in there including the one where he can wrap his legs around my waist and practically break me in half!  Jack did well out in the big boy chair.  He had his teeth cleaned, wore the glasses they gave him to protect his eyes from the light, and by the time we left the office most of the ladies were sporting their green Jack Morton Foundation bracelets.  Dr Chaet said Jack’s teeth look great and that made me happy because I was a little nervous about the decalcification he has on some of his teeth but he thinks it is from before all the work he had and nothing new.  We go back in 6 months for Jack and he said that “Killer”, or Braden, can came back when he is 30.  Of course this is all said with smiles and I can say that if you are looking for a great dentist or orthodontist for your kids, Dr Chaet and his team are top of the line.  They are great and Jack actually loves the office so it’s a win/win situation…and I am sure Braden will come to love it too!  You can find there website here… www.smilesbyapdo.com

A few pics…notice Braden’s mouth wide open…that’s what he does now when we tell him to smile!!

Yesterday we received the long awaited “Babba Box”  If you don’t know what that is…go to www.babbaco.com.  I totally should have thought about this idea because it is smart and easy.  This lady, Jessica Kim, is a mom herself of little ones and thought it would be a great idea to have a whole team of people (pediatricians, nannys, moms, psychologist…) get together and put together a box that you little one can get every month as sort of a planned activity.  I try and think of things to do with the kids but there are times when you just run out of ideas and then this box arrives and it is amazing!  This month’s theme for the box is “Feelings” so when we got it yesterday I didn’t really know what to expect.  Jack was super excited to get it!  Inside every box are activities that you will create, explore, story tell, and connect on the computer with.  Jack get’s to create sock puppets and feelings face magnets so he can learn to express when feelings he is having, explore with magic glasses that have mirrors in them so he can see behind him and with these “feeling glasses” he can try and identify what others are feeling and use a journal to log it for 5 days, story tell with a book that they give you about others and being a sharing, caring person, and then connect with some apps for the iPad which is what Braden is doing now.  As I write this is sounds as if we are all full of glitter and rainbows, but you get the point.  It is something different to do and it is a learning experience as well. Each box provides activities that use your child’s motor, cognitive, and creative skills and it’s all wrapped up for you!  The box comes with everything you would need to do the crafts down to the glue and scissors.  It is really great!  So if you are a friend of mine and have kids my age, you will probably be getting one of these boxes as a gift for birthdays because I love it that much.

Here are the magic sunglasses!

Jack decided to go and change while I was putting Braden down for a nap so we could make his hand puppets and he came back in his Hamilton High jersey…he asked if it was too big…

Sock Puppets!

While they were drying we checked out one of the apps…he was laughing so hard at the song!

Braden was now up and not so sure about it!

Warming up to it…

Ooops! Pulled off a “hair” and thought he broke it!

Now for fun…

We have a little more than 2 weeks left until our event with PCH, “Comedians for a Cure” and you need to get your tickets now!  This night means so much to us because all proceeds will go directly to PCH for Neuroblastoma research.  Without research we will not find a cure, and without your donations, we will not be able to fund research.  We know that less than 3% of all government funding goes to ALL childhood cancer research so all trials depend on foundations such as ours to help.  We never thought in a million years that our baby would be diagnosed with cancer but truth of the matter is that so many children are and if it could happen to us, it could happen to anyone.  We don’t want this to happen to our nieces, nephews, grandchildren, friends…we don’t want any child to have to go through what Jack has been through.  We don’t want another family to have to lose their child due to this awful disease.  We need your help and we are depending on you so please, click on the link and buy your tickets.

The night will be great and while we know we will have so many laughs from the amazing comedians who have donated their talent for our event, we also know that it will be a night filled with love and support for all children who have been diagnosed with Neuroblastoma and for all of those who have had to go through such awful treatment.  Your tickets will include entry to the show, dinner, and a drink and of course that feeling of knowing you are giving back and helping us fight against cancer.  There will be silent auction items as well as raffles.  SOME of the donated items include: a membership to CrossFit480, membership to The Joint, Cardinals game tickets, a 30 minute helicopter ride with the one and only Bruce Haffner, and and a wine tour trip to Napa with a stay at Hotel Yountville!!!

One amazing item that will be up for silent auction was donated by Scott Berger from Addison Taylor Fine Jewelry.  We met Scott at the event we did at Nove with Cheri Knoblauch and he is such an amazing person.  He asked if he could design a pendent just for The Jack Morton Foundation that could always be ordered, at any time, and part of the sales will come back to us.  Of course we were thrilled and he has come up with such a wonderful piece for us.  There is a sterling silver pendent that will be $250 and 20% is being giving back to the foundation. He has generously donated one for the auction that is made in white gold with diamonds and sapphires weighing 2.20 carats total valued at $5000.00!  We are beyond thankful and thought we would show you an image of the one that will be put up for auction!

So now, while you are reading this, go up to the top of the page and click the button and buy your tickets!  You don’t want to miss this!!