To say that we are thrilled beyond belief that Jack’s scans came back all clear is an understatement.  This time was one of the scariest times I have personally ever had with Jack in regards to scans.  Every other scan I had the belief that he was going to be fine because he was doing so well.  This time I saw something that was was out of the ordinary and it scared me.  My mind went places that I never want it to go again.  I went for a walk the night before the first set of scans by myself and the tears were coming down like they did when Jack as first diagnosed.  I kept thinking to myself that I cannot lose him.  I physically could not live without him and the fear of that happening was overwhelming.

Zac is working out of town right now and with the scans being scheduled so quickly and with my Dad being able to fly out to be with me at the hospital, we decided to at least wait until the CT scan before making a flight for him.  We agreed that if there was something on the CT, he would come home immediately.  It was hard not having him here because I am the emotional one (go figure) and he is the rock.  When he is gone, I take over his role with the boys and it’s hard to be a rock when you feel like you are a pile of mush.  We kept in constant contact with Zac so he knew what was happening at every moment and that helped.  I know it’s very hard for him to be gone all the time and especially when we are going through something so hard and he is far away but I also know how hard he works for our family and I love and respect him for that very much.

When we got the first call from Sharon at the hospital that the CT was all clear, it was a huge relief.  We knew that we still had the MIBG ahead of us, but to know there wasn’t a mass in his brain was huge for us.  It made it a bit easier walking in to the second day of scans.  Dr Maze wasn’t able to be there for Jack’s anesthesia due to him being out of town, but he called and told us that he would pick someone he knew we would love and he did a great job.  We had Dr Miller and he was amazing.  We had him once before and I remembered him because he was from Michigan and I was secretly hoping we would have him again.  We walked in the second day and our favorite Nuc Med nurse Angela was Jack’s nurse and all the pieces started to fall together.  We had Angela, Dr Miller, and of course the Amazing Mary and Shannon.  It was the 11th of October and his scans was at 11:00…all the signs were there for Jack to have another set of clear scans, and he did.

Sharon called us Friday at 7:49 AM and told us to start celebrating.  I asked her what she thought the shaking of the hand was for and she said it was hard to say.  It could be a late effect from treatment, it could have been a nerve problem, it could have been a fluke.  It hasn’t happened again and they aren’t worried about it so we aren’t worrying about it.

We have had a busy couple of days and Jack is getting ready to go back to school tomorrow after his 2 1/2 week break.  He is excited to see his friends and I am excited to be able to put this behind us for another 6 months.  We will chat with Dr Eshun when he gets back in town in a week or so and I am sure he will have more information to tell us but for now we are just loving the fact that Jack is doing so well and we are so very happy.

I cannot thank you all enough for all of the love and support you have given us.  My phone would start going off at 5:15 AM and continue until 1:00AM every day until we knew the scans were clear.  Thank you for all of the messages you sent.  Thank you for all the positive thoughts and prayers and words of encouragement.  Thank you for calling, writing emails, texting…thank you for it all.  Thank you to my friends who let me cry and who also told me in the nicest ways to knock it off and get my mind back on track when I needed it.  Thank you for making me laugh and thank you for repeating over and over again how far Jack has come and that no matter what the scans read, he would get through it.  Love you all.

Here’s  a few pics of the scan days….

Jack telling cancer to take a hike…

A very unhappy boy getting poked for the 3rd time…I felt so bad for him!

Uncle Scott came down to say hi but Jack was still not too happy about anything at the moment…

CT time.  Of course he was watching Mario and Luigi the entire time…

Of course Aunt Nik met us at PCH too!

Before we left for day 2…

Day 2…just got the call from Sharon that the CT was clear!

We took a real quick pic and I am sure Mary is going to love that her eyes were closed, but I wanted to show some of the amazing people from Nuc Med!

Dr Miller was so good with Jack.  He talked to him the entire time while he fell asleep.  He held him and hugged him….he was wonderful.

Jack sleeping after scans…we had to do some more labs after but thankfully he was sleeping so he didn’t even know.

Celebrating at home!  I asked Jack how he felt about having clear scans again and still having “no cancer” and he said, “It’s feels good…actually, it feels amazing.”

Seriously…we will never have a pic of us sitting still and smiling!

Day after results…soccer time.  I couldn’t have been happier to have him running up to me with this smile.

Ok, well I am definitely letting the stress of scans get the best of me.  I started off my day in a panic because I totally forgot about Jack’s SSKI drops that he was supposed to start last night before his isotope injection tomorrow for his MIBG scan.  I called Dr Eshun and Sharon who told me that it would be just fine if we started them today and continued for 4 days.  The reason for the drops is to protect his thyroid during the nuclear med scan.  I was, and still am, a bit mad at myself for forgetting.  I forget things all the time, but when it comes to treatment and my children, I do not forget anything.  I was totally sidetracked thinking about the drops but had to run to the store to get a few things.  I ran over a lizard.  A small lizard that was running so flippen fast to get past me…I ran it over.  I then proceeded to get all teary eyed with the Starbucks lady when she asked how Jack was doing.  I then came home and sent my Dad to CVS to pick up Jack’s drops only to find out that I gave Sharon the wrong number for CVS. I gave her the number to a location that was 20 minutes away.  Ok, no big deal.  I will call them and have it transferred.  I call…they decide to inform me that they don’t have the drops there and they would have to order them.  When I asked why they didn’t call to tell me this they simply said, “Oh, I thought the other guy did.” So I lost it on the 1st CVS employee. I was then called by PCH by a very nice girl that wanted to go over my insurance policy and what we would owe when we came in to the hospital as if we had never been there before.  Again, lost it.  So now we stand with me having 4 points towards my loss of insanity to the lizard, the Starbucks girl, the CVS employee, and now the PCH employee.  Moving on….I call the other CVS to see if they have the drops.  They don’t.  Will they help me find a pharmacy that does….nope.  They say they don’t have a computer system that can do that.  I am now up 5-0.  Another employee taken over by my scanxiety.  I then call another CVS to ask if they have them…they do!  Perfect…but they can’t fill it for 2 hours.  Ughh. Ok, at least we have it coming today….until another CVS employee calls about 45 minutes later.  Poor guy.  He called to tell me that he wanted a different dropper because he wasn’t sure if we had used this before.  I flipped.  He said we could get it tomorrow and I told him that we coudn’t wait until tomorrow.  He said he understood and I came back back with, “Oh really.  You understand?!  You would not understand unless your child was having his 1 year post treatment scans to make sure his cancer was still gone and this was something that you absolutely had to start at this moment, so no, you don’t understand.”  He calmly told me how he understood how he didn’t understand.  Wow, I am a real freak right about now.  I soon apologized and he made everything work out and Jack now has ingested his drops.  Crisis over Still I am up 6 points for me being insane and 0 for those who have crossed my path.

I apologize now for what I might say this week!  Please understand that I am a total wreck…border line needing to check myself in to the loony bin come scan week.  I expect everyone to understand the anxiety and stress that comes along with scans, but I know in my normal brain that you cannot understand. I need to realize that the world doesn’t revolve around us all the time!  So, ahead of time, sorry!

Anyway, we had a great weekend here!  Jack had a wonderful birthday and we thank all of you who came and celebrated or sent notes our way!  Jack had so much fun as did his friends and ours!  He wanted a water slide again so we did that along with other activities.  Some of the kids, parents, and friends stayed until bedtime and as always, we find that to be a good sign.  Mother’s day was great because I was able to spend it it with my family and that is all that I wanted.  I am going to attach some pictures so you can see what we did!  Thank you again to everyone!!!

On a medical note…we go in tomorrow to get Jack’s injection for his MIBG scan on Wednesday.  This will be a very short trip to the hospital tomorrow (maybe actually be there for all of 1 hour) and then we will head back home to stuff him full of food since he can’t eat on Wednesday.  We will check in Wednesday for his CT scan of his chest, neck, and abdomen and then we will see our wonderful Dr Maze and he will be put under for his MIBG scan which will last about 1 1/2 hours.  Hopefully we will hear from Dr Eshun soon after to tell us that there is nothing on his scans and we can exhale as he knows we hold our breath until that moment.  Please send your prayers our way that Jack remains cancer free.  Tell your family and friends about Jack and ask for their positive thoughts and prayers as well.  We will take all that we can!

Also pray for those who come happen to cross my path this week…I feel awful for them!

Jack walking around the corner to see his birthday gift and Abbey being a bit shocked apparently!  (don’t mind the garage in the back!  We were helping a friend store some things for a bit!!)

Party time!  Cole on the water slide:

Once you start filling water balloons…you don’t get to stop!!

Cake time!

Jill, Hudson, Jack, and I…long time friends and so thankful they could come!

Nikki getting in on the action…

Brady boy…eating!

And Braden again…eating!

Love my Luigi hat and slippers!  Thank you Aunt Nik and Shawny!

Giving his buddy Kyle a hug after getting his gift…so cute!

End of the day…notice it is now dark and everyone is still going strong!

Mothers Day…

My Dad and Mom…

Mom and Grandma…

Our Fam!

Not sure how this one got in at the end but here’s Braden again!

Today Zac and I took the boys out to Longbow Golf Club in Mesa for the 8th annual Fore Noah and Friends Golf Tournament where all proceeds go to Neuroblastoma research.  Noah was diagnosed with Neuroblastoma in 2005 and has been cancer free for 7 years now!!  His family holds this tournament each year and they have raised about $60,000 each year at this event.  We has such a great time out there today and we can’t wait to hear how much they ended up raising this year!  I got to chat with Lara (Noah’s mom) for a bit and I also got to see a family that I used to nanny for 10 years ago!  I can’t believe how the time flies.  The boys had a great time and I thought you would enjoy a few pics of the day….I promise Braden was happy on the slides!!

With the end of April being here, the countdown to Jack’s 5th birthday and scan week will begin.  Jack turns 5 on May 11th and we are so happy for that.  We are so thankful that we can celebrate another birthday with Jack…even more thankful that it is a birthday where he is cancer free!  Jack’s scans start on the 15th and we will hopefully know results by the 17th and then have an appointment with Dr Eshun on the 18th.  Please send all of your positive thoughts, energy, and prayers Jack’s way.  When these results come back clear, Jack’s scans will be able to be spread out to 6 months apart instead of every 3 months.  Of course that is terrifying that it will be so long in between scans, but it is just one small step further away from the day that the Devil knocked on our door and that is something that we cannot be happier about.

Ok folks, we are getting ready to take off for day 2 of scans.  Yesterday went really well and Jack was very happy about only having to do the CT scans but not too thrilled about having to put an IV in. He put up a bit of a fight when it was time to hold his arm out, but once they started he didn’t even know it was happening.  He did really well with the CT and picked out a prize after….a stuffed bat that he wants to take to clinic on Friday to scare the nurses.  He thinks it is just so funny that he would do that!

We had to wait around for about a hour before he got the injection for the MIBG so we sat and ate some lunch at the cafeteria and visited with our favorite person from Child Life, Amanda.  Jack is very shy now in front of all the people at the hospital that he used to be so outgoing with and I am not sure why.  Maybe he feels like if he gets too close he will have to go back??  Not sure.

Anyhow, we go in this morning first to the orthopedic to see if we can take his boot off or at least see how his bone is healing from his attempt at flying.  Hopefully he can take it off and get back to playing more outside because I know he misses it.  After that we will be checking in and getting another IV done before his scan so Dr Maze can give him anesthesia.  We saw Dr Maze yesterday…he is such a nice man.  He tickled Jack and made him laugh, told him he loved him and just how cute he is.  He is so good with him.  Of course he asked me about my whole family that he knows because he really does care about everyone.  The MIBG should only last about a hour or so and then we will be heading home and I will turn my ringer up as high as it will go and hold it close to me until Dr Eshun calls and tells us, “I have good news for you!  You don’t have to worry…he is fine!  It’s Jack afterall!”

Please keep the prayers coming!!

Here we are, already 7 days away from Jack’s next set of scans.  It is hard to believe that 3 months have passed since his last scans.  This time the actual scan days will go a bit faster since we don’t have to do the bone scan and it is also really nice that he only has one day of being under anesthesia.  We did add a x-ray of his foot on Wednesday to see how his little broken bone is healing but I imagine it will be just fine.  He says it doesn’t hurt at all anymore and he would rather take the boot off and run around but we obviously aren’t letting him!

In these days approaching scans I tend to get pretty stressed because of the overwhelming anxiety of  ”what if” but I try to push those aside with the words “no evidence of disease”.  I am trying to stay positive and keep my prayers going.  Zac will be home for scans next week and that is always good because he has always been constant with his positive outlook on Jack and that’s nice to be around!

Of course we are staying busy with the in’s and out’s of having two young boys and planning a charity event!  There are some AMAZING donations coming in for silent auction and raffle so you better buy your tickets now!!!  You can follow the link at the top of the website to go to Stand Up Live’s page and purchase your ticket.  If you want to buy 2, call Stand Up Live DIRECTLY and tell them that you want to 2 ticket special for the night and you will get 2 for $115 instead of 1 for $65.

Stand Up Live’s number is 480-719-6100